Un-Marry Me! Modern Love 2024

 Here is another wonderful entry in the Modern Love podcast that caught my eye!

Un-Marry Me! Modern Love

Mediation via Zoom

Now scheduling ONLINE Mediations and Consultations for New and Existing Clients on Zoom, Face-time or other video conferencing. 

Update 3/16/23

Dear Existing Clients, New Clients and Colleagues

 

The health and well-being of my clients and community continue to be of primary importance to me.

For the past 3 years and during the height of the pandemic, I transitioned my practice to conducting mediations and meetings almost exclusively via Zoom.  This has its advantages and disadvantages. The main advantage of course has been the ability to continue to offer my services during the pandemic.   At this point, I am beginning  to offer my clients the option of in-person meetings as well continuing to offer mediations via Zoom.  For the time being, in person meetings will be limited to those clients who have been vaccinated and boostered. I am happy to go over the options with you, as well as the pros and cons of in- person vs. Zoom when we talk.  Call me at 413-256-1575 to discuss the options.

Dear Clients, Potential Clients and Colleagues:

The health and well-being of my clients and community is of great importance to me. I will be working remotely for the foreseeable future. Business operations will continue as normal. I will be answering phones, answering texts  emails and regular mail. Cases will continue to be advanced every bit the same way as if I was in the office.

Mediations are available via Zoom video conferencing, phone conferencing or other possible video/phone options.  Please call or email me to discuss the options. Mediations conducted via Zoom have gone extremely smoothly. In many ways they are more efficient. Scheduling is easier and clients can engage in the mediation process for their individual homes.  Zoom/video conferencing is a viable and practical option. Please call me at 413-256-1575 to discuss.

My hope, like I am sure, yours, is that this virus will be contained in short order and we can resume our “normal” activities shortly.   In the meantime, please know that I am available to help in whatever way I can. 

Can a Good-Enough Marriage Make for a Great Divorce?

 

Every once in a while a story captures my interest, makes us take a step back and think of the positive.  This may not be for everyone, but I found this story heartwarming and inspiring.   Check it out:   Sharing a Home While Divorcing

2021 Massachusetts Child Support Guidelines

 

The new Massachusetts Child Support Guidelines and Guidelines worksheet are now available. They go into effect on October 4, 2021.  They can be found here:

2021 Massachusetts Child Support Guideline2021 Child Support Guidelines

2021 Child Support Guidelines Worksheet

 https://www.mass.gov/info-details/probate-and-family-court-2021-child-support-guidelines-worksheet-cjd-304

Virtual Registries

Many of our local Probate Courts now have Virtual Registries that allow you to communicate directly with court staff via Zoom to discuss filings or other questions about your case. The Probate Courts are still closed to in-person filing so using the Virtual Registries is a smart way to make sure you have your paperwork in order before you file or to check on your filing. Here are the links:

Hampden Probate Court:

https://www.zoomgov.com/j/1600424858

Hampshire Probate Court:

https://www.zoomgov.com/my/hampshirepf

Trial Court list of Virtual Registries:

https://www.mass.gov/info-details/remotevirtual-court-services

Family Resolution Specialty Court

 

Ask me about the Family Resolutions Specialty Court at the Hampshire Probate and Family Court in Northampton, MA. This is a one-of-a-kind court program for families with children going through the divorce or separation process that is based on a team and child-centered approach.  

Filing Procedure Update from Hampshire County Probate and Family Court- February 2021

 

Hampshire Probate and Family Court

Notice to the Bar

February 2021

Please see below for guidelines for filing documents in the Hampshire Probate and Family Court. Please click HERE for the Court’s Operating Procedure under Probate and Family Court Standing Order 2-20 for additional information on the Court’s operations during the COVID-19 pandemic.

Filing Methods

Documents may be filed in the Hampshire Probate and Family Court in one of three ways:

* E-Filing: Documents may be e-filed for certain case types. Click HERE to see the types of cases that may be e-filed.

* Hand Delivery: Documents may be hand delivered to Court. There is a drop box in the entranceway that is available Monday to Friday from 8:30 a.m. to 4:30 p.m.

* Mail: Documents may be mailed to the Court. However, all mail is quarantined for 24 hours prior to processing.

Emergency Filing Methods

* Email: Unless you are a Court Service Center staff member or an attorney volunteering through a Lawyer for the Day program on behalf of a self-represented litigant, please do not email documents to the Court absent an emergency. If documents are emailed to the Court due to an emergency, they should be emailed only to hampshireprobate@jud.state.ma.us. They should not be emailed or copied to individual staff members. If the email includes “pictures” of documents, particularly financial statements, the original documents must be submitted to the Court. The “pictures” can be printed, but cannot be scanned into MassCourts.

* Fax: Documents may be faxed to the Court ONLY in an emergency and when no other filing method is available.

The cover sheet should be labeled “EMERGENCY.”

Filing Instructions

Unless noted otherwise, documents should be filed through ONLY one of the methods above (e.g., if documents are e-filed, they should not also be emailed or mailed; if documents are mailed, they should not also be emailed).

Please include the date of the hearing on your envelope and the front page of each pleading.

Filing Deadlines

Absent an emergency, all filings must be received by the Court three days prior to the hearing date. The Court may decline to consider documents received after that time. The net effect of having to sort through emails, e-filings, hand-delivered pleadings, and the daily mail is that, occasionally, the “late-filed” pleading does not get matched to the file in sufficient time for the hearing. This results in a hardship to everyone concerned.

Dispute Interventions

Cases may be referred to the Probation Department for dispute intervention services, which will be conducted remotely. Dispute intervention referrals for matters that are scheduled before the Court, such as motions, contempts, and pre-trial conferences, will occur the business day prior to the scheduled Court hearing. Case management conferences that are scheduled with Probation will occur on the date indicated on the notice.

Please pay close attention to the scheduling notice, as it will provide detailed information regarding whether the case has been referred to Probation, the date of the dispute intervention, and participation instructions.

Questions

* Filing Documents: For questions regarding filing documents, please make an appointment by emailing

hampshireprobate@jud.state.ma.us with “Appointment” in the subject line. The email should contain the

date(s) and time(s) you are available and a brief description of the subject matter. Please include the docket number. Someone from the Registry will contact you during the time indicated in your email. You can also access the Virtual Registry by clicking HERE.

* Emergencies: Questions regarding emergencies can be addressed to Noelle Barrist Stern at

noelle.stern@jud.state.ma.us or Corey Carvalho at corey.carvalho@jud.state.ma.us.

* Dispute Intervention: Questions regarding dispute intervention can be addressed to the Probation

Department at 413-586-8503.

COVID-19 update from Massachusetts Supreme Judicial Courts

Supreme Judicial Court

The Supreme Judicial Court today issued an updated order, which will be effective May 4, 2020, regarding the operation of Massachusetts state courts and courthouses during the ongoing COVID-19 pandemic. Under the new order, until at least June 1, 2020, all courts of the commonwealth will continue to be open to conduct court business, but courthouses will continue to be closed to the general public, except where entry is required to address emergency matters that cannot be addressed virtually (by telephone, videoconference, email, or comparable means, or through the electronic filing system). Jury trials in both criminal and civil cases, in state courts are postponed to a date no earlier than July 1, 2020. All bench trials, in both criminal and civil cases are postponed to a date no earlier than June 1, unless they may be conducted virtually by agreement of the parties and of the court. The new order also extends various deadlines.  Today’s SJC order also directs Trial Court departments to identify categories of non-emergency matters that they will attempt to address virtually, where it is practicable to do so, and to provide clear guidance to the public and members of the bar regarding what those categories will be by posting periodic notices to the judiciary’s COVID-19 webpage. The SJC and Appeals Court will continue to conduct oral arguments virtually in non-emergency matters. All court clerks', registers', and recorders' offices shall continue to conduct court business -- to accept the filing of pleadings and other documents in emergency and identified non-emergency matters, to schedule and facilitate hearings, to issue orders, to answer questions from attorneys, litigants and the general public, and to conduct other necessary business of the respective court. All such business will be conducted virtually, except when the filing of pleadings and other documents in emergency matters cannot be accomplished virtually

Zoom Zoom Zoom

         Who would have thought that the word “Zoom” would take on such different meaning.  Some of you may remember the children’s show that started with the song, “We’re gonna Zoom, We’re gonna Zoom, we’re gonna Zooma zooma zooma zoom”  That still goes through my head every time I hear the word “zoom.”  I love to photograph so I also think of my zoom lens or the zoom in and out button when viewing PDFs. Today though Zoom has become ubiquitous with video-conferencing. While I have in the past resisted conducting mediations via teleconference, today, in the age of COVID-19, it is all I am doing and I have come to appreciate its benefits.  I miss the human contact and there is still nothing like meeting in person but I am finding that Zoom mediations have their benefits and I suspect that like a lot of people I will continue to offer it as an option when this pandemic is over.

          
        At present, courts are closed!  Currently the courts are not re-opening until May 4^th. This will likely be extended. The only thing the courts are hearing at present are absolute emergencies. This is presenting huge issues for some people and I expect this will only get worse. There are the normal issues that bring people to the Probate Court, motions for child support, for parenting time, discovery disputes, guardianships and a whole host of other family related matters. COVID 19 will add and already is adding a whole host of new and related issues: parenting issues around COVID-19 and transfer of children from one household to another, differences in vigilance between parents about hand washing, social distancing, etc.  and financial issues around loss of jobs, loss of income, decrease in retirement accounts and general uncertainty about the economy.  Recently I was working with a family involving issues around not just their separated family but the extended constellation of step-children going back and forth with yet another family unit. Mediation provides a way to address these issues and reach resolution quickly  and privately.  Not only is it an alternative to court, but at least for now it may be one of the few viable alternatives (assuming parties are not able to resolve it themselves.)       

         With in-person mediations not happening any time soon, Zoom mediations or mediations using other video-conferencing have become the new normal. Having been now mediating exclusively on Zoom since March, here are some benefits I am seeing:

         1. Scheduling is easier. One of the challenges with in-person mediations has always been getting both people in the office at a time that works.  With people being confined to their homes, even if they are working remotely, scheduling sessions has been much easier.

         2.  People are saving time not having to travel to my office.  I work with people from all over the valley.  I have had clients drive from Springfield, Pittsfield or Worcester to Amherst.  Online mediation and using Zoom has made that a non-issue.

         3. Although I prefer having people in my office and interacting in person,  I am finding that for many people being in separate spaces puts them more at ease. Maybe it is also being in the comfort of their own homes, but I find people more relaxed while using Zoom.

         4.  There is an efficiency factor when using Zoom.  First, I can screen share documents with clients. That includes the Agreement to Mediate, which I have clients sign online. It also includes financial statements and agreements which we can all work on in real time and together. This saves my client time and money.

         5. There is a quality I have not yet put my finger on when using Zoom but that feels something like, we are working collaboratively.  We have all signed on to the site, we have to talk one at a time and there is a certain order to it which makes the process flow.  By virtue of the way the app works, people can only talk one at a time. That is often an issue in mediation. They have no choice with Zoom but to wait until the other person has finished talking.

         6.      Although there have been reported concerns about Zoom bombing and confidentiality breaches, I have not experienced any of those issues to date.  The Zoom app is very easy to use, whether on phone or computer. I believe Zoom is working on making the app more secure and it may in the future result in having to press three buttons rather than one, but even then I believe that the Zoom platform is extremely easy to use and will continue to be.  This is even for the technically challenged.

        I look forward to a time when I can meet my clients in person again. I expect though that when this is over, I will continue to offer Zoom/virtual mediation as an option. In the meantime, I am grateful that I can offer my clients and prospective clients an option to resolve issues. 

Courts are Closed: Consider Mediation

Consider Mediation, Conciliation or Collaborative representation as an alternative to filing in court and as a way of continuing your case without further delay.  Due to the Corona Virus (COVID-19), courts are presently closed until at least May 4, 2020, except for absolute emergencies. There is a good likelihood that even if the courts open in May, there will be significant delays in cases getting heard as courts deal with the backlog and ongoing delays due to COVID-19.  Even more than ever, mediation, conciliation and collaborative divorce offers an efficient and cost-effective alternative to the litigation process.

Since March I have been conducting mediations via Zoom and in some cases via telephone.  My experience thus far has been universally positive. I believe the same can be said for my clients.  I certainly miss the human connection. However, given the alternatives, I have found Zoom mediations and meetings via Zoom to be efficient and technologically very easy. I have not had any problems with security or “Zoom Bombing.” One of the advantages for instance is the ability to share documents and work on documents together in real time.   Conducting mediations via Zoom will allow you to move your cases forward from the privacy of your own home ( or as I have seen in some cases, your attic, basement or even car) so that when courts are open, your divorce can be ready to be filed.  Feel free to reach out to me if you have questions or want to know more.  

Tips for parents during the Corona Virus

There are many articles popping up with suggestions for parents about dealing with the COVID-19 crisis.  Here is one article.  I will be updating this as I find more:
Co-Parenting During Covid

https://www.massgeneral.org/children/infectious-diseases/how-to-talk-to-kids-about-coronavirus

https://www.afccnet.org/Portals/0/COVID19Guidelinesfordivorcedparents.FINAL.pdf?ver=2020-03-17-202849-133

Is Divorce Mediation Legally Binding?

I hear this question a lot but it is not exactly the right question.  Mediation is a voluntary process in which both parties agree to use mediation to help them resolve their dispute.  In the case of a divorce, the mediator will help the parties reach an agreement which will then be drafted into a divorce agreement and ultimately presented to the judge for approval.

Let’s go back to the question, “Is Divorce Mediation Legally Binding?” Mediation is different than arbitration.  In arbitration, the parties present their dispute to an arbitrator and the arbitrator makes a decision. It is sort of like a trial in front of a private judge. Some arbitrations are binding and some are not. Arbitrations often arise as a result of a contractual provision that requires arbitration in the event of a conflict. The contract will indicate whether the arbitration is binding or not.

Postnuptial Agreements- Part I

        A Postnuptial Agreement, sometimes known as a Marital Agreement, is an agreement between two people who are married and are either thinking about divorce but have not yet decided to divorce, or are considering divorce but are hoping that such agreement may help them stay together.
Why might you want to consider a Marital Agreement?  Here are a few scenarios that may make a Marital Agreement worth considering:

Divorce Mediation Process in a Nutshell

  

Amherst Mediation Services
Divorce Mediation Process in a Nutshell

1. Initial Free Consultation:  The mediator and both parties will meet together for an initial free consultation. At this meeting, the mediator will explain the mediation process, discuss fees and cost of mediation, compare mediation with other options and answer questions that either party has about the process or about the mediator.
2. While there is no obligation to start the mediation process following the initial consult, we will set aside time that day so that if you want to start that day, you can. Typically, if the mediation starts that day, the mediator will spend between 30-60 minutes with you getting background information about your situation, basic financial information and information about where you are in the process of divorce or separating.  You will be sent home that day with some homework.

Valuation of the Marital Home

If you are getting divorced and you own your home, one issue that will certainly need to be addressed is the valuation of your home.   The exceptions to this are: 1) If you plan to sell your home; and 2) if you plan to continue to jointly own the home.  Let’s discuss these two options first.

Even More Conflict Resolution Tips for Divorcing Couples

Even More Conflict Resolution Tips for Divorcing Couples
One thing I have learned from my more than 24 years of mediating is that there is always more to learn.
My 2005 article on conflict resolution tips included the following tips:
1. Conduct a conflict self-assessment (i.e.- take your temperature as it relates to conflict).
2. Normalize conflict (i.e.: conflict happens every day).
3. Conflict is an opportunity.
4. Listen, and
5. Think about what you would like the process to look like when you look back on it years from now.

See the full article at: https://mediate.com/articles/kaufmano1.cfm.

Tips for Preparing a Short Form Rule 401 Financial Statement-Frequently Asked Questions

1.  Do both parties need to fill out a financial statement?  Yes. Both parties must fill out the financial statement.  People often ask if they can simply fill out one financial statement if they agree.  The answer is a definitive no.  Whether parties have an agreement or not, they each must fill out the financial statement. The reasons for this are discussed further below.

What Should You Ask Your Mediator at the First Session?

At my initial free consultations, I usually start by giving potential clients an overview of the mediation process, a little bit of background about me and my philosophy about family law and mediation. At some point I will turn to the clients and ask if they have any questions.  I am often surprised that prospective clients have no questions.  It could be that I have done such a comprehensive and fantastic job explaining the process that they truly feel they have all the information they need.  I don’t really think that is it though. Maybe they have already done all the research they need. Sometimes I think that the process is so overwhelming that clients may simply be distracted and not know what to ask.  For most people it is their first time divorcing and they do not know where to start.  Finally, sometimes clients have been referred by people, they are not shopping around and have come in to the initial session knowing that they plan to hire me. Sometimes, in those situation, clients save their questions for after we officially get started.

Even More Conflict Resolution Tips

        It’s hard to believe that I wrote the first in this series called Conflict Resolution Tips for Divorcing Couples in 2005.  https://mediate.com/articles/kaufmano1.cfm.  More Conflict Resolution Tips was written in 2013. https://www.mediate.com//articles/KaufmanO6.cfm#

New Tax Law and its Impact on Divorce

The new tax bill passed by Congress has a number of significant changes which affect divorcing couples.  I am including a link to an article which describes some of these changes.

It can be found at:

 

New Tax Law Significantly Impacts Couples Going Through Divorce

February 1, 2018